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Not Every Garden Is Eden

by Samantha Sklar

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1.
On the rush hour train going west towards Canaan It took me a minute to find my reflection ’Til I saw I’d grown into my own apprehension Careworn against the immaculate morning Two strangers discussed who’d take the window seat He was reading about detective suicides in the police beat And she was a child Wearing a shirt saying “I am the hope, I am the dream” And I was fresh off a night Left me with runs in my tights And desire thick like grenadine I walked down cobblestone Stoking the flames of recollection Against the backs of leather jackets Oh I surrendered to each suggestion of you You said you’re still learning discipline Will you teach me once you do? Cologne ads on billboards Lines wrapped around trendy stores Art replications posted on gallery doors Shopping bags and tourist traps String-light snow flakes on streetlamps Oh Canaan Lust laden garden You know I’d like to think so Not every garden is Eden There’s a bookstore round the corner I once wandered to in the summer When I was still garnering my freedom When I was still too young a lover Since then I’ve offered of myself More than I was ready to give away I let on too much More than I’d like to display I’ve fallen for Jazzmen With smooth guitars and old souls And I fell for a couple of those Silver tongued intellectuals Deep in reverie I found a false sense of intimacy Promiscuity, loving nobody I thought that would be release
2.
Madeleine 01:45
Sunday in terrycloth on Clinton St. Madeleine finds herself In the thoughts she’d fall asleep to Afterglow still entire She’s warm in its embrace But the bathwater’s to her ankles She washes it away The bus ticket bookmark A 10 am cup of tea The necklace she thought she lost in her sleep Her eventide lover Who awakes forsaken And fulfilled by her solitude An unfettered Madeleine Sunday in yellow silk on Clinton St. Madeleine walks herself To the nursery where she reaches For chrysanthemums and lavender To press beneath her mattress There’s a man standing on the corner Holding hydrangeas and a canvas Energy and abstraction Red, orange and black Madeleine asks if she could see But quickly hands the canvas back to him The colors stay with her They circle ‘round her head But the painter begs to differ He feels nothing much is said Sunday in cotton on Clinton St. Children play along the sidewalk Mother watches from her seat A wish on a dandelion Picked from between the pavement Seeds like dreams in the air Reflect the scenes of children’s games And Madeleine like a child Eyes still wide and head still high Sings along to songs of love Thinks of the painter she passed by Her legs wish to know him well They don’t care where his have taken him But its fleeting and brief For an unfettered Madeleine
3.
I’m leaving before winter comes I won’t get to see your hair grow long I’m leaving before winter comes I won’t get to see your hair grow long I was no model of maturity Though I’m not sure I fooled you The act was for me But you could’ve fooled me You’re very sweet when you want something Drunkenly sweet until you withdraw Pensive at the edge of the bed You pick up my guitar Your eyes stare far off And you turn away your head I tend overestimate myself and my place You embrace me Then you say you’ve got some other place to be So you kiss me then you leave me But I can’t pretend There isn’t blood on both our hands In an act of self restraint I feigned indifference I lost my chance Over a smoldering Friday night phone call One thing led to another You told me how you’d love me When this is all over You left me waiting Though you owe me no explanation We were no longer lovers We were just playing the part Now all thats left were embers Where I was looking for a spark Over a sobering Monday morning coffee I realized I won’t be so high reminiscing On the counter l had the portrait You had taken of me With your camera from the war One night I was singing my lonely songs And all the words I sang for you To someone else are now brand new

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released June 15, 2020

Written, Performed, & Recorded by Samantha Sklar

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Samantha Sklar New York, New York

hi! i'm samantha and i make folk music

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